


I Still Care About You・まだあなたのことを気にしてる

by machigaiko



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Angst, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Sad, and leon comes to save the day, because i dont see why not, criticism is much appreciated :00000, naegi blames himself, naegis dad is a meanie in this story, yea uhm i might add more later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:07:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27720473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/machigaiko/pseuds/machigaiko
Summary: "Him and his father were sharing smiles and talking happily with each other just the other week... or was that last month?Everything had been going just fine. They were finally on good terms with each other for once, and Makoto had to mess it up all over again."It's always so much easier to blame yourself than it is on other people.or egg bois dad is a meanie beanie and 11037 finds out and saves naegg yesyes
Relationships: Fujisaki Chihiro & Ishimaru Kiyotaka & Owada Mondo, Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo (implied), Kuwata Leon & Naegi Makoto
Kudos: 21





	I Still Care About You・まだあなたのことを気にしてる

**Author's Note:**

> i dont proof read. criticism much appreciated. if you would like me to continue this story then leave a comment or something those give me much motivation. oka hope you liek

Makoto leaned on the wall behind him, letting his body slide to the ground with a _thump_.

Why did this happen?

Why does it happen?

Why, why, why did it happen again?

Him and his father were sharing smiles and talking happily with each other just the other week... or was that last month?

Everything had been going just fine. They were finally on good terms with each other for once, and Makoto had to mess it up all over again.

He shouldn't have let himself get dragged into something so recklessly, he should've known and considered his father's feelings about it.

If he had just thought more, they wouldn't have fallen into another argument.

There was an optional event that was taking place after school that Makoto hadn't planned on going to and he had told his father so. It was when Chihiro approached Makoto, telling him about how Taka and Mondo were planning to spend more time together and he didn't want to interfere but still wanted to go to the event that Makoto decided he would go with Chihiro so he wasn't alone. The time he spent with Chihiro was amazing and definitely a valuable memory, filling Makoto with positivity and joy.

That joy had died and withered away however when the event ended after about 2 hours and Makoto was starting to head home. Dread pooled in his gut as Makoto grudgingly made his way back to his house. His eyes trained on the floor, Makoto was now standing in front of the front door. He unlocked the door and slid it open, offering a weak,

"I'm home."

Makoto hunched lower, expecting the piercing eyes of his father, analyzing every little movement and detail.

"Where were you?"

Makoto blinked his eyes open to see his father looking at him with a worried frown. The concern seemed so genuine and faith sparkled in his eyes, Makoto couldn't help but feel like some pressure had been lifted from his chest and shoulders. Makoto took his shoes off and laid his bag by the front door, walking over to the couch to sit on so that he could explain the situation.

"...and you didn't even bother texting me about it? Do you know how much I care for you? I was worried sick! You said just today that you weren't planning on going! Just imagine all the things that could've gone wrong! I can't... I can't afford to lose... I can't afford to lose another part of my family!"

His father's reaction shot a sickening bullet through Makoto's heart, flooding his senses with guilt. _He's right. I should've at least told him. God, why am I so reckless?! Am I really that inconsiderate?_

"I just don't want you to get hurt, or lost, or- anything like that! I want you to promise me this..."

His father's eyes sharpened as they gazed harshly at Makoto.

"...don't go anywhere without my permission or knowledge again. For your own safety. Got it?"

Makoto nodded hesitantly. Before he could really think, his subconscious objections bubbled up out of his mouth.

"But you know, I was safe! It was a school event and I was just trying to be there for Chi... Chihi... ro."

"I _said,_ you _will_ promise to not go _anywhere_ without my specific permission. Got it?! I don't care why you did what you did, I don't care where it took place, I just want you to be safe. Is that so hard to understand?!"

Makoto shrunk back, feeling his heart beat faster with the increasing volume of his father's voice.

"A-and, and I just did what I thought was right! I don't-"

"I. Don't. Care. What. You. Think. Just let me be able to protect you! Do you even know how much I care for you anymore? What am I doing wrong?! How can I raise you better?!"

There it was. The guilt. The sickening, pooling, swirling guilt. It makes him want to throw up and punish himself for everything he's ever done or thought. The pure pain in his father's voice broke Makoto's heart, and he cursed himself for trying to argue with his opinion when his father was clearly trying to protect him from what happened with his mother. Makoto looked down, unable to look his dad in the eyes anymore with the tears that started welling up, and forced out a broken,

"...I promise."

Makoto's father sighed and got up off the couch, signaling that the conversation was over and that he was satisfied enough with the response Makoto gave. Makoto shakily stood up and tried to walk over to his room as quietly as possible, despite the fact that there was no reason to be quiet. To not break the tense atmosphere with a disturbingly loud noise? Perhaps.

So there he was, sitting pathetically on the ground, crying his eyes out because of this stupid situation. _Why can't I do anything right? Why do I keep disappointing him? Being nice and fixing problems is all I'm good for so why am I so useless around him? Why why wHY?!_

Makoto wanted to go back. He wanted to go back in time and say the right thing. _Do_ the right thing. He can't just sit around and do what he wants and desires if he's only good at making other people happy. He can't just discard the only worthwhile part about him; the only thing he even exists for, just to make himself feel better. Then he would just be selfish. He needs to use his head for once.

It felt toxic. The aura felt toxic. A part of Makoto wanted to blame his father and he _despised_ himself for thinking that. He just knew his mentality was in the wrong place. There was something wrong with him that was hurting his relationships and he didn't know what to do to fix it. His father was just trying his absolute best as a parent to protect his child and it seems Makoto- or at least Makoto's brain won't accept that for some reason. He sighed and decided to just get to sleep early. He could finish his homework tomorrow morning.

Makoto clumsily and dejectedly dragged through his nightly routine and crawled into his bed, already missing the feeling of last night where he would happily say "Goodnight!" to his father. Not like he could do that now, not with the situation they- _he_ put them in. He could feel another sob crawling up his throat but swallowed it down. It would be annoying to have to deal with his stupid bawling all over again.

Makoto sighed and closed his eyes, curling up in a ball and hugging himself, he fell asleep.


End file.
